The K Word

I've thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to share this, but I remember when I started this blog the one thing I wanted was to be vulnerable and share my story no matter how hard it may be. We all face a storm and sometimes the storms we face are similar. I don't share this news for sympathy but because I know there are many many people who walk the same path I do and I am not quite sure what mine looks like but I am hoping it's a good and long one(this makes it sound scarier than it is). Last Friday I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and although the news wasn't a major shock, I wasn't expecting it to happen this early in my life. Diabetes is something that is genetic and it runs on both sides of my family. I set a goal for myself and that was that I wanted to be more intentional with my health which meant going to the dr because I hadn't had a physical in quite sometime. I honestly feel like this was God nudging me to go. I saw my lab result...

Have you ever given up on a dream you didn't really want to?  I have, twice.  The first one was law school. I worked and worked so hard to make that dream work but felt like the door closed in my face every time. I was pretty angry at God for awhile, it didn't really help and I definitely am glad that dream didn't come to fruition. I wouldn't be where I am today or get to do the things I really wanted to do.  Recently, I felt like God was asking me to give him my desire to have a family. I don't quite know how to explain giving up something you really want. It's not like you can just hand over a dream or desire that you have, but I resisted big time. I was afraid that if I let God have this, he would take it away and it's not a desire I want to lose. I found myself so frustrated with online dating that I finally decided to delete all my accounts. They basically became a huge distraction and the type of guys I matched or talked to ended up not being very kind...

Mark 4:35-39 "On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?' And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea,  "Peace! Be Still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." I've spent a lot of time thinking about this story with Jesus in the boat, and storm has really been a lot of what I have reflected on. Jesus commanded the wind to stop and it did! He brought peace in the middle of chaos. Sometimes in our lives Jesus doesn't always calm the storm the way we want him to. My aunt still died from cancer, friends lost siblings, los...