Diabetes Doesn't Define Me

I've thought long and hard about whether or not I wanted to share this, but I remember when I started this blog the one thing I wanted was to be vulnerable and share my story no matter how hard it may be. We all face a storm and sometimes the storms we face are similar. I don't share this news for sympathy but because I know there are many many people who walk the same path I do and I am not quite sure what mine looks like but I am hoping it's a good and long one(this makes it sound scarier than it is). Last Friday I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and although the news wasn't a major shock, I wasn't expecting it to happen this early in my life. Diabetes is something that is genetic and it runs on both sides of my family. I set a goal for myself and that was that I wanted to be more intentional with my health which meant going to the dr because I hadn't had a physical in quite sometime. I honestly feel like this was God nudging me to go. I saw my lab results before my doctor's office called me to tell me the news, and because I have been around diabetes for a long time I already knew I was diabetic. I think the nurse was worried that I didn't sound worried when she told me my glucose and A1C was high. (no point in freaking out about it) I went into fight mode, I just wanted whatever I needed to make my body healthy. Has there been a lot of fear associated with this? yes! Like I don't want to experience any of the health problems that can arise from diabetes. Also just the idea of eating any food scared me and still kind of does. I didn't actually realize how crappy I had really been feeling. Mid September I noticed some changes and I thought it was because I made some changes in my diet and my body was adjusting. I was feeling really tired, like more tired than usual. A couple days into taking my medication I noticed a significant difference in how I am feeling. The hardest part of this whole thing for me is the stigma around Diabetes and being afraid to tell people because I was worried they would see me as someone who is unhealthy. The reality is that isn't true. Also just processing everything and understanding what Diabetes is. The easiest part has been having a pretty strict diet. I still cry about it sometimes, and most of the time I am not really sure why I'm crying haha! I have always struggled with my relationship with food and for the longest time it became a comfort for me. The last 5 years I have worked really hard to change that. To view food as something that nourishes my body and have become more active.The handful of people I have told, a lot of their reactions have been shock because they all say something along the lines "you have done a great job at taking care of yourself." and they aren't wrong. I didn't lose 70 lbs by doing nothing. I have also beat myself up and take responsibility that I could do better. I had a friend tell me "you are just living life and there is nothing wrong with that, now you know and you are going to take care of yourself the way you need to." She is absolutely right. I faced this head on and became more aware and intentional with what I eat and really think through how I structure my meals. I can still have all the bad for you but super delicious foods too just not on a regular basis. I ate a cookie last night the first sweet/carb I have had in a week and I didn't die, in fact my blood sugar was lower today than yesterday. My roommate and I also get up early and either go run at the track or do a workout at home. Having someone beside you doing the same thing is encouraging and super helpful. If you are diabetic and feel like you are doing this alone please reach out to me!!! Everyone in my life has been very supportive and encouraging and I think this would be a lot harder if I didn't have you all in my life. Diabetes doesn't define me but it is part of my story. I will always be Diabetic but my goal is to get my blood sugar and my A1C to a point where I won't have to take medication. I know that God is in control and he is good and with him all things are possible. If you find yourself struggling with something similar maybe not diabetes but just life please feel free to reach out to me and I would love to pray for and with you! Big shoutout to my friends and family! Thank you for being there for me, praying and helping me navigate this new way of life. Man I am just so thankful