I Am An Independent Lady

Last Friday I went on quite the adventure and took a road trip to Tacoma WA and went to the Queen concert  by myself. I have to say the entire thing was quite an adventure from buying the ticket to trying to get a Lyft ride back to my hotel. I will share more about this in a second. 

For those of you who don’t know me, I am pretty extroverted but I generally don’t like to do things alone out of insecurity. I went and saw a movie once alone and all I could think about was how everyone watched me walk in and sit down alone and they were all judging me because I was alone. The reality is people probably didn’t care that I was there by myself. Apparently people go see movies alone all the time and they love it. After this movie experience I have not gone and done stuff by myself and I feel like I may have missed out some things I would have really loved to do. 

I turned 30 just over a month ago. I can say I pictured my life looking a lot different than it does (marriage, kids etc..) but I also am super grateful for the life I have and the people who surround me (shoutout to my tribe). This year I told myself that I wasn't going to say no to things anymore because I may have to do them alone.

I didn't wake up one morning and just decide I was going to step out of my comfort zone. 2 years ago Queen was in Seattle and for whatever reason the timing was not great and couldn't find anyone to go with. Queen is my favorite band!!! A friend mentioned that Queen was going on tour with Adam Lambert again in Tacoma, we decided we were going. I kicked myself for not going 2 years ago. As soon as she told me I requested the time off and even set an alarm on my phone to go off 5 minutes before tickets went on sale. My friend ended up not being able to go and really my only option was going by myself. I pouted for days because it was not working out well. I thought about how much I regretted not going 2 years ago and on impulse bought a ticket before I convinced myself it was stupid to go alone. This was the moment when I decided I was done missing out things because sometimes it meant going alone. I am really glad I went because it was the best concert and experience of my life so far!

For an entire week before the concert I heard on multiple occasions from multiple people I heard things like take pepper spray and don't take public transit (which I considered at one point). Others were worried about me going by myself. I kept telling everyone I was going to be fine and I was pretty confident in myself. They told me they only worry about me because they love me and when they stop worrying I should be concerned. My parents weren't even worried about me and they were pretty excited for me and I know they love me.

Obviously if you are going somewhere unfamiliar and you are going alone it's important to make sure you communicate with people. I made sure people knew where I was. I let them know I made it to my Hotel, I sent them pictures at the concert, I posted on social media and then I spent 2 hours after the concert texting my mom to let her know I was stranded and she helped me look for ways to get back to my hotel. It took me 2 hours after the concert was over to connect with a Lyft. I would do it all over again.

I met 2 ladies from Alaska, they flew there for their birthdays to just see Queen ( I would have too, at this point I would fly to the UK to see them). They didn't want me walking to a pick-up point alone and once we left the Dome we were able to connect with a Lyft. Tacoma is a beautiful city it's big, but it's not like being in Seattle. My mom told me she started worry about me because she thought I was stranded and freaking out because I couldn't find a way home. I told her that I never once felt scared or nervous and knew I was going to have to wait it out with the other 500 people waiting for a lyft. I felt a little bad because I was trying to find a ride and doing other things and not texting my mom back right away.

I am sure you are asking Kassie what does all of this have to do with being independent? On my drive home I thought a lot about being single and the stigma or box single women are put in. We are portrayed to have it all figured it out, act tough, change the flat tire, kill the wasps and spiders, fix the leaks and save the world. This is BS!!!! Being single doesn't mean being alone. Yes I am an independent woman, I manage to take care of myself and do the things I need to in my life. But being independent is not being able to do all the things I listed above and then some. It's being able to ask for help when you really need it. God did not create us to be alone. If he did it would just be Adam on this earth by himself, but he created Eve a companion, someone do help Adam do the things he could not do.

We are all born with our own gifts and talents. I think being independent means the journey is yours but we do not walk alone. Sometimes being independent is having a roommate who catches the huge spiders and releases them outside and doesn't make fun of you because you are seriously terrified. It's having friends who ask their friends to come dig your car and your neighbors cars out of the parking lot, It's texting your mom who is 283 miles away at 11:30 at night because you can't get back to your hotel and she is looking at bus routes, taxi cabs and other ways to get you back.

We all hear it all the time but I heard someone say it recently "It takes a village to raise a child" but it's not any different as an adult. It takes a village to survive as an adult too. I still have the desire to prove to people I can do it all, but the reality is I can't and I am being prideful. I know that I want to help people if they need it and would do anything for someone if they asked for help.

If you are single lady I encourage to take the pressure off of yourself. You are doing great and thriving but asking for help doesn't make you weak, in fact a strong person asks for help. So stop trying to do it all on your own and let your people in and let them be there for you. We all need people and our lives are not meant to be lived alone.

This is the end of a very long blog post, I promise. I really enjoyed going to Queen and I hope I get to see them again soon one day (if not I'll just go see Adam Lambert). In fact the entire road trip was awesome, I got to listen to my own music and stop when I wanted to. The only part I didn't like was getting stuck in rush hour traffic, it was the only time I wished I wasn't by myself because I was going stir crazy.

Go on the adventures and do the things you want to, even if it means going alone.